I’d written this blog and forgotten to put it up!

Today we went on a family trip Swanage, a classic British seaside town.

We started off by catching the open-top bus, which sounded innocent enough when we planned it. In reality? More like a theme park ride disguised as public transport. With the wind in our hair, we held onto the railings as the driver swerved along narrow country lanes, low branches swiping at us like health and safety hadn’t made it to this part of the world.

Swanage itself was exactly what you’d expect in a seaside town. Beach, pubs, and fish and chip shops. We wandered around, ducking in and out of shops, before wandering along the sea front. People were swimming and kayaking and it was an overall relaxed vibe.

Some of the family decided to pay to walk along the old wooden pier. But, we didn’t. Instead, we headed off on a walk out to the headland, where nature was putting on a free show. The view from up there was incredible.  The sheer white cliffs of Old Harry Rocks stretched out to the left, while to the right, the chalky cliffs of the Isle of Wight in the distance. It’s weird to think the two were once joined, but now separated by time and tides.

By then, our stomachs were rumbling, so we made our way back to the beach for fish and chips. I’d been craving them for weeks, and they didn’t disappoint, golden, crispy and salty. 

But the adventure wasn’t over yet. The return bus ride turned everything up a notch. Our driver, apparently in a hurry or simply out for thrills, took the winding roads at full speed. Every bump launched us off our seats, and the branches didn’t just swipe us, they came for us. Ducking and diving, with bursts of laughter and the occasional yelp from Jessie, it was like a theme park ride with no seat belts and better views. It was hilarious and terrifying at the same time!

But we made it back, unscathed (except maybe a little traumatised). All in all, a proper British seaside day out. Slightly wild, full of charm, and just the right amount of fun.

Today we woke up and thought, let’s go home! Home as in the UK, not NZ. We’re not ready for that yet, we’ve already had our winter in Norway. The ferry from Cherbourg leaves at 6.15pm, so that gave us plenty of time to get there. We didn’t have a booking, and no idea if there was availability, but we’d deal with that when we got there.

I navigated my fancy waypoints to take us there on the back roads. But after a while even that became laborious, so we sucked it up and took the main roads. It was a Sunday so it wasn’t too busy.

We arrived at the ferry port at around 3pm, and thankfully there was space, so we booked it. It was quite a bit more expensive to travel on a Sunday than a Tuesday, but we just wanted to get back now.

The ferry crossing was a little bit wobbly and I felt a little sick at times, but it wasn’t too bad. I had chicken and chips and Mike had beef bourginon. Since we’ve been living on stale baguette and pasta for the last few days, it tasted pretty good.

It was almost 10pm when we arrived into Poole harbour and the smell of smoke from strong. There had been a series of fires in studland and swanage, and these are mostly caused by stupid humans.

We arrived in Poole and it was dark. We tried to camp at our usual place at the ferry port, but they wanted 15 pounds. Crazy! We haven’t even paid that much for a campground in Europe with showers and toilets included. So we declined and headed for Westbourne.

We tried to get a park on Nick and Ems’s street, but it was full. So Mike tried to do a 200 point turn to turn around, but failed. So he ended up reversing down the entire street. Thankfully there was a nice flat park at the street opposite. There were blocks of flats on one side and the trains on the other. We were so tired we didn’t care. We fell asleep listening to the trains moving around.

This morning I managed to get my video uploaded using our starlink. It took a while, but it got there in the end. It’s neat editing videos that seem a lifetime ago. It’s like stepping back in time and reliving it.

It seems like we’re just driving now, making progress in the most indirect route possible as we make our way to Cherbourg and the ferry. Even the chocolate ripple houses fly by in a state of indifference. It’s like this part of our holiday is over, and we just want to get back to civilisation, where I can have a shower, wash some clothes and have a nice roast dinner. And catch up with family of course.

We finally found some shops today and stocked up on a few supplies. Still no restaurant, so I may not be able to do my mini food tour.

We stopped the night at an Aire de camping car, and it seemed like a nice spot, but there was a gypsy camp set up next door, and they were playing loud music. Being a Saturday night, we wondered if it might get noisy. We were both really tired, but we decided to move on. I’d seen another spot about 40 minutes away.

This was a much nicer spot. We parked overlooking a forest, and despite there being another motorhome here, it was so quiet. Almost too quiet!

Today it rained. And it was no ordinary rain. It was torrential, a river falling from the sky. And we had to drive in it. But at least it cooled it down a bit. 

We’re struggling to find a shop in France. It’s probably our own fault for sticking to the back roads,  and even a bakery is hard to come by. We’ve spotted a couple of pizza vending machines and a few baguette vending machines, but no actual shops. On the bright side, we’re not spending much, and with some luck we might lose some weight. Except that whenever we do find a shop, the first thing that goes in the bag is chocolate.

We did eventually find a bakery and bought a long, curved baguette. Naturally, I made Mike pose with it. He was mortified, but like a good boy, he reluctantly did what he was told. The locals avoided eye contact. One woman definitely smirked. I, on the other hand, was laughing head off. The photo is on Facebook. Viewer discretion advised.

Our first stop today was to look at a free camping car place near a lake. What I’ve noticed in Europe is that no matter whether it’s a lake, a pond or a puddle, motor-homers seem to flock towards it like a herd of thirsty sheep! And this place was no different. There must have been hundreds of motorhomes, crammed in next to each other, just to be near an over-commercialised lake. Not even overlooking it, just a big crowded carpark nearby.

It’s hard to describe the feeling I get when I see this kind of mass hysteria, and it’s not pleasant. It’s like everyone has suddenly become a sheep, with no mind of their own. Why on earth anyone would want to park and sleep in such a place is beyond me.

When I was researching places to visit in Norway, I noticed that everyone seemed to head to the same spots, so they ended up enjoying a stunning view alongside hundreds of others. We made a point of avoiding those places. I think Instagram is partly to blame. People see a photo and decide they want to go there, without realising they might have to queue just to get “The Shot.”

Anyway, that’s my little rant over. Not much happened today, so this seemed like a good time to have a moan.  I’m also struggling to find somewhere to upload my latest video. I love France, yet I hate it!

I’ve also got a mini French food tour in mind. There are three things I want to eat before we leave: confit de canard, moules frites (if we get close to the sea), and a proper plat du jour in one of those little villages where there’s just one meal on offer – no menu, no choice. So far, no luck on any of them! Maybe tomorrow.

France makes things so easy for campervaning, I think because they have a big camping culture themselves. The Aire de camping car spots are everywhere, and most of the time they are free and include a dump point for black and grey waste. Sometimes they even have water and electricity for an extra cost.

Anyway, we drove through storms for most of today before arriving at a small Aire de camping car. I was expecting it to be busy as it’s Friday night and the first day of the French holidays, and we’re only 150km from Paris. But there was only one van here, so that made us happy. All the other campervans are probably either stuck in Paris traffic, or trying to find a suitable puddle.

There is a little epicerie (grocery) store here, so we popped in and bought some chocolate and biscoff, but completely forgot the milk. Oh well. Diet starts tomorrow!

Today we drove all day. I nailed it, picking up the windiest twistiest roads i could find. As a result, it took us 8 hours to drive about 200 kms. We’re basically cycle touring in a van.

Along the way we saw an impressive church, the Basilique du Bois-Chenu, which was built to honour Joan of Arc, who was born nearby. It’s also the place where the voices came to her, where she first heard the saints urging her to take up arms and lead France. Out in the nearby fields, surrounded by the same hills and trees that still stand today, she began a journey that would change the course of history.

Out front, there’s a striking statue of her, sword raised, looking glorious in battle in her gold-plated armour.

The basilica was also impressive, sitting on the hill, towering over the land. Inside the church on the lower level was a crypt. Then we had to climb a marble staircase to the actual church. I’d never seen this before. The walls are lined with detailed paintings that tell the story of Joan’s life. 

I think its crazy to think that in some places today, women still aren’t allowed drive, meanwhile, back in the 1400s, they handed Joan of Arc a sword and said, “Go lead an army!” Whatever happened to progress?

Not much else happened today. We drove, admired the little villages, drove some ridiculously narrow roads, and ended up in an Aire de Camping Car spot in a little village. And it turns out to be a neat little town, so we took a stroll.

We’re in Soulaines-Dhuys, a village, with narrow streets weaving between half-timbered houses and stone cottages. Streams wind through the town, lined by old stone bridges that give the place a Venice kind of vibe. In fact, its often referred to as the Green Venice of the Aube. The greenery is everywhere. Trees, gardens, and riverside plants spill over into the streets, softening the edges of the buildings. 

There are restored original communal bath houses here. I wondered if we were allowed to bathe in them, but Mike thinks not. So we continued on our smelly way. We stopped and snapped a few photos of a 16th century gothic church, then made our way back to the van, where we settled down to eat a stale baguette for dinner.

What a drive today! We wound our way through the heart of the Black Forest, and it was every bit as enchanting as the name suggests with towering evergreens, and winding roads that climbed forever.

The higher we went, the more the world faded into the mist. For the first time, there were plenty of places to pull over and soak in the view… only the view had vanished! Thick white fog wrapped around us, hiding the valleys below and any other traffic on the road!

Then, just like that, we crossed the Rhine and drove into Frankreich??? Where the hell is Frankreich, I thought we were heading to France? But the sign said Frankreich 1 km ahead. It turns out Frankreich is German for France. Yes, I should have known this, and no, I didn’t. But panic over.

It was exciting though, especially when we recognised the bridge… the very same one we cycled over back in 2022! We had no idea we were retracing our steps. And it feels crazy to think we pedalled all this way back then.

And France is just so beautiful. Not only does it have chocolate ripple houses, they are also wonky and misshapen in the best possible way. The little villages we drove through were adorable, and some of the best we have ever seen.

It was very exciting being back in France, it kinda feels like home as we’ve spent so much time here. They also have free park up places for campervans called Aire de camping car. We found one of these, but all the spots were taken. The vans were crammed in tight, all huddled around a small pond that didn’t exactly scream “idyllic.” So we moved on in search of something a little more our style.

About 30 minutes down the road we found another place. And this was much better. There were four individual spots separated by bushes. So very private. And so far, only one other camper is here. 

We saw them attempting to take their cat for a walk on a leash. The cat, however, had other plans and zero interest in being part of this outdoor adventure. It put its foot down and refused to go any furtner.  Then it slipped out of its collar like a miniature Houdini (no full harness, rookie move).

What followed was 30 minutes of entertainment watching two humans chasing an unimpressed cat around. It makes me wonder, who would want to travel with pets?

802 kms to go according to Google and its main roads.

Oh, and Steve is back and he’s got an annoying inflection he picked up in Germany. He now buzzes when he talks.

It’s official. We now only have ten days left to leave the EU. And we still have 1000 kms to do, and that’s in a straight line, not taking into account our squiggly ones! We are averaging about 150 kms per day at the moment, so we better get cracking!

Today we drove, taking the back roads as normal, and stumbled upon some very picturesque towns. There was chocolate ripple galore and I loved it!

Then we found a nice walk to do. Neither of us felt like walking, but I insisted, as we need to get our fitness up if we are to do the Routeburn track next year. It was a nice walk, through the forest with giant cliffs rising up on the side. We went out without any water or anything, which was really dumb, as it would have been a nice 9km loop walk had we been better organised.

After that, we just kept on driving, along country lanes and pretty towns. It was like cycle touring but in the comfort of a van.

At 4pm, we found a free spot to stop right on a cycle path. I do wish we had our bikes here, and I think we’ll look at getting a bike rack for the van. I think we’ll go to France tomorrow.

After two days of rest we were itching to get on the road again. Mike woke me up at 5.30am when he got up to go to the toilet. Then he went back to bed and immediately started snoring. But it was too late for me. I was awake. So I got up and started clanging around making coffee and all that morning stuff.

As a result, we got away early. But it was raining, so not a nice day. We didn’t do much today, just kept heading west, trying to get some mileage done in the most indirect route possible (avoiding main roads).

We picked up Steve, a hitch-hiker from Slovakia, and he’s refused to leave us. He’s been buzzing around annoying the shit out of us. We tried to shoo him out the window many times, but he won’t go. But finally, today, we managed to get him out. He flew out the window, having made it to Germany. Let’s hope he can speak German. (It was a fly if you haven’t figured it out.)

At 3pm we drove through the old town of Munderkinden. I remember this place when we cycle toured here in 2009 with sister Lynda. It’s a really cute town complete with storks, real and wooden, and chocolate ripple houses.

I looked on my app, and there is freedom camping here, just for campervans. So we checked it out. There was space for 3 vans under the trees and overlooking the Danube river. There was also electricity and water which you can pay for, but we didn’t need any of that. There is also a dump point! And it was just a short walk into town. It was perfect, and we were the only ones there!

So, we went in search of schnitzel. As it’s a Monday, most of the restaurants are closed, but we found a nice little one and ordered our meals.

Mike ordered crumbed schnitzel and chips, and I ordered au-natural schnitzel with spatzle. The spatzle is like little dumplings and was covered in a mushroom and bacon gravy, and it was absolutely delicious. My plate was piled high and I knew I’d never eat it all, but I made a good effort, and Mike finished it off. It was the perfect place to stop. Now we’ve had our schnitzel and pretzels, we can move on to France!

This morning we looked around the town we stayed in called Shrobenhausen. It wasn’t a fancy old town like the ones we saw in Eastern Europe, but it was still quite nice. We did a walk about the old town walls, which were still in-tact in places. This town was built on a Roman road that went from Rome to the Danube. It got granted it’s market rights in the 13th century and that’s when it started to grow.

One thing I love about Germany is pretzels. Those twirly sticks of bread with salty bursts of delight, a perfect treat for breakfast, lunch or dinner. And I’ve been fattening myself with them since I got here. Now we just need to find some schnitzel and spatzle, and my food tour is complete!

We spent the morning looking around the town, then went back to the van for a bacon and egg bap, a simple Sunday lunch. Then the afternoon was spent working on a video, and sleeping, and playing Chess. Mike thinks I’ve lost the plot as I have named all my pieces individually, including the prawns, and I give them little pep talks. And he was most upset when Pinky the Prawn took his horse, then got promoted to guarding the king in the next game. Maybe I have lost the plot.

And then the lightening and thunder came, so we decided we’d stay another night in the carpark. We’ve only got 12 days left to get back to the UK, so we probably better get moving!

To our surprise, we actually slept well in the carpark we’d moved to. The music finished earlier than expected, followed by a bit of car door slamming, then silence. Total, blissful silence. In the morning I suggested we take a walk to see what the town was like, and what a great idea this turned out to be. 

At the hotel next door to us was a classic car meet. And not just your common American classic car rubbish that you see everywhere. No, this was the good stuff. Rare European classics, ones I’d never seen before. Old BMW’s, Mercs, Alfa Romeos, VW’s, Jags, Triumphs, and heaps of old Porsches, which all look the same no matter how old they are.

They must have been heading off on some kind of rally or something, because there was a guy with a starting flag waving them off every minute like it was some sort of Grand Prix. It was really cool to watch them leave. Some hummed along nicely, others puttered and spluttered, and others just poisoned us with their fumes, but they were still cool to watch. So that made our day.

Afterwards, we kept heading west, doing our best to avoid busy roads, which is becoming a highly specialised skill. I’m basically a human Sat Nav with a strong aversion to traffic. Most of the time, I’m absolutely nailing it. Mike’s tracking us, so it’ll be hilarious to look back at the squiggly mess we’ve drawn across the map. But I can tell you this much, Germany does not like our lack of efficiency.

Now we’re back in Germany, and everything smells like pigs. I hadn’t noticed that smell anywhere else in Europe, but the smell here is strong. It takes me back to primary school, when Max had a pig farm across the road. It didn’t smell any better back then!

As we were driving through a town, I noticed there was a free place to park for campervans, so we detoured to take a look. It was only 3pm, but after one too many evenings driving late looking for somewhere to sleep, I wasn’t feeling adventurous.

When we arrived, there were already a load of campervans and motorhomes parked here, so we pulled into a spot and stopped. I felt more comfortable knowing others were staying here, and it was a nice flat spot. So we settled down for an afternoon nap. It was drizzly outside, so we didn’t even bother venturing out to the town. Maybe tomorrow.