It’s official. We now only have ten days left to leave the EU. And we still have 1000 kms to do, and that’s in a straight line, not taking into account our squiggly ones! We are averaging about 150 kms per day at the moment, so we better get cracking!

Today we drove, taking the back roads as normal, and stumbled upon some very picturesque towns. There was chocolate ripple galore and I loved it!

Then we found a nice walk to do. Neither of us felt like walking, but I insisted, as we need to get our fitness up if we are to do the Routeburn track next year. It was a nice walk, through the forest with giant cliffs rising up on the side. We went out without any water or anything, which was really dumb, as it would have been a nice 9km loop walk had we been better organised.

After that, we just kept on driving, along country lanes and pretty towns. It was like cycle touring but in the comfort of a van.

At 4pm, we found a free spot to stop right on a cycle path. I do wish we had our bikes here, and I think we’ll look at getting a bike rack for the van. I think we’ll go to France tomorrow.

After two days of rest we were itching to get on the road again. Mike woke me up at 5.30am when he got up to go to the toilet. Then he went back to bed and immediately started snoring. But it was too late for me. I was awake. So I got up and started clanging around making coffee and all that morning stuff.

As a result, we got away early. But it was raining, so not a nice day. We didn’t do much today, just kept heading west, trying to get some mileage done in the most indirect route possible (avoiding main roads).

We picked up Steve, a hitch-hiker from Slovakia, and he’s refused to leave us. He’s been buzzing around annoying the shit out of us. We tried to shoo him out the window many times, but he won’t go. But finally, today, we managed to get him out. He flew out the window, having made it to Germany. Let’s hope he can speak German. (It was a fly if you haven’t figured it out.)

At 3pm we drove through the old town of Munderkinden. I remember this place when we cycle toured here in 2009 with sister Lynda. It’s a really cute town complete with storks, real and wooden, and chocolate ripple houses.

I looked on my app, and there is freedom camping here, just for campervans. So we checked it out. There was space for 3 vans under the trees and overlooking the Danube river. There was also electricity and water which you can pay for, but we didn’t need any of that. There is also a dump point! And it was just a short walk into town. It was perfect, and we were the only ones there!

So, we went in search of schnitzel. As it’s a Monday, most of the restaurants are closed, but we found a nice little one and ordered our meals.

Mike ordered crumbed schnitzel and chips, and I ordered au-natural schnitzel with spatzle. The spatzle is like little dumplings and was covered in a mushroom and bacon gravy, and it was absolutely delicious. My plate was piled high and I knew I’d never eat it all, but I made a good effort, and Mike finished it off. It was the perfect place to stop. Now we’ve had our schnitzel and pretzels, we can move on to France!

This morning we looked around the town we stayed in called Shrobenhausen. It wasn’t a fancy old town like the ones we saw in Eastern Europe, but it was still quite nice. We did a walk about the old town walls, which were still in-tact in places. This town was built on a Roman road that went from Rome to the Danube. It got granted it’s market rights in the 13th century and that’s when it started to grow.

One thing I love about Germany is pretzels. Those twirly sticks of bread with salty bursts of delight, a perfect treat for breakfast, lunch or dinner. And I’ve been fattening myself with them since I got here. Now we just need to find some schnitzel and spatzle, and my food tour is complete!

We spent the morning looking around the town, then went back to the van for a bacon and egg bap, a simple Sunday lunch. Then the afternoon was spent working on a video, and sleeping, and playing Chess. Mike thinks I’ve lost the plot as I have named all my pieces individually, including the prawns, and I give them little pep talks. And he was most upset when Pinky the Prawn took his horse, then got promoted to guarding the king in the next game. Maybe I have lost the plot.

And then the lightening and thunder came, so we decided we’d stay another night in the carpark. We’ve only got 12 days left to get back to the UK, so we probably better get moving!

To our surprise, we actually slept well in the carpark we’d moved to. The music finished earlier than expected, followed by a bit of car door slamming, then silence. Total, blissful silence. In the morning I suggested we take a walk to see what the town was like, and what a great idea this turned out to be. 

At the hotel next door to us was a classic car meet. And not just your common American classic car rubbish that you see everywhere. No, this was the good stuff. Rare European classics, ones I’d never seen before. Old BMW’s, Mercs, Alfa Romeos, VW’s, Jags, Triumphs, and heaps of old Porsches, which all look the same no matter how old they are.

They must have been heading off on some kind of rally or something, because there was a guy with a starting flag waving them off every minute like it was some sort of Grand Prix. It was really cool to watch them leave. Some hummed along nicely, others puttered and spluttered, and others just poisoned us with their fumes, but they were still cool to watch. So that made our day.

Afterwards, we kept heading west, doing our best to avoid busy roads, which is becoming a highly specialised skill. I’m basically a human Sat Nav with a strong aversion to traffic. Most of the time, I’m absolutely nailing it. Mike’s tracking us, so it’ll be hilarious to look back at the squiggly mess we’ve drawn across the map. But I can tell you this much, Germany does not like our lack of efficiency.

Now we’re back in Germany, and everything smells like pigs. I hadn’t noticed that smell anywhere else in Europe, but the smell here is strong. It takes me back to primary school, when Max had a pig farm across the road. It didn’t smell any better back then!

As we were driving through a town, I noticed there was a free place to park for campervans, so we detoured to take a look. It was only 3pm, but after one too many evenings driving late looking for somewhere to sleep, I wasn’t feeling adventurous.

When we arrived, there were already a load of campervans and motorhomes parked here, so we pulled into a spot and stopped. I felt more comfortable knowing others were staying here, and it was a nice flat spot. So we settled down for an afternoon nap. It was drizzly outside, so we didn’t even bother venturing out to the town. Maybe tomorrow.

We’re back in Western Europe, and had our first overnight camping scare. But more about that shortly.

We had a quiet morning at the campground, uploading my latest video, and doing our campervan chores. Showers, laundry, and tipping out our waste. Then we were back on the road. Today we’re going to Germany!

The first thing we noticed when crossing the border, was how expensive things were. Last night we camped in a nice campground with showers, toilets and wifi for about $15NZD. When we looked at parking in a car park on the German side, they were charging $60NZD just to stay in a carpark! We had planned to stop somewhere nice to have an afternoon nap, but with prices like that, we just kept on driving.

It’s a weird feeling being back in Germany. It’s all so familiar. The language, the scenery, it’s something we know. Whereas the Eastern countries felt so foreign. When they spoke it sounded like a cackle, but here, in Germany, I can literally understand what they are saying! 

But, once again, Google wants to send us on busy roads. So we turned off today, and followed the squiggliest lines we could find. But getting off the tourist trail meant camping choices were limited. So we just kept driving. There were some incredible views as we drove through the mountains. It reminded me of the Blue Ridge Parkway, but without anywhere to stop and admire the views.

One of the unexpected highlights was a quirky little spot on the side of the road. The owner had built an entire miniature village, complete with wooden characters going about their day, chopping wood, hammering and turning wheels.

But here’s the magical part: the whole thing was powered by a nearby stream. A series of waterwheels, connected with cogs, levers, and pulleys, brought the village to life. Watching these simple mechanics animate the scene felt like something I could see brother Paul doing. It was whimsical, ingenious, and very cool and I could have watched them for hours. You’ll see it all in the video when it’s out.

After that came the nightly ritual of finding a camping spot. I must admit, this is getting tiring as there were no camping grounds near us. I saw a couple of suitable parking lots, but it was too early to stop. Eventually we found a place in a large gravel parking lot in a small town, and this is the first time I have felt unsafe.

We made pasta, played our usual game of chess, and started getting ready for bed. Just as darkness settled in, a car pulled into the lot. It drove slowly past us, circled once, and left. Odd, but maybe nothing. A few minutes later, another car arrived, circled around and parked right next to us.  The rest of the lot was wide open, so why stop there? It didn’t make sense. Outside, it was dark. No houses in sight. No people. Just us, and this weirdo sitting right outside our van door. How could we even drive off without getting out of the van? Was it even safe to get out of the van? I thought I could probably squeeze through our escape hatch to the front seat, but I doubt Mike could fit. I could just imagine them laughing at me from the car next door as I tried to do this. We still hadn’t put our front curtains up. Maybe we knew.

Mike was shattered from the long day and wasn’t keen to move. “They probably just want to do some wheelies,” he muttered. I wasn’t so sure.

I sat there, trying to make a call. Leave or stay? My gut said leave. Just as I was about to push for it, the car pulled out and disappeared into the night. Relief flooded me, but the feeling of vulnerability stayed. We were too exposed here. And I knew I wouldn’t be getting any sleep. It was probably nothing, but I knew I’d be on alert all night, every time a car pulled in.

There was another spot not too far away, just down the road near a hotel. We drove there, hoping for something better. I wouldn’t exactly say it was better. Loud music was thumping from the hotel, bass vibrating through the night air, but at least there were a few other cars parked around. That made all the difference. It felt… safer. Less isolated.

So we settled in for the night, the boom boom music coming from the hotel was oddly comforting. Human noise. Normal noise. We drifted off to sleep, lulled by the rhythm of nearby partygoers and the reassuring thought that we weren’t completely alone out there. Just hope some drunks don’t come out and have some fun trying to scare us!

I woke around midnight to an eerie stillness in the lakeside park. All the people had gone home and I knew we’d be in for a quiet night. But then a car door slammed. Who the hell is here at this time of night? I stayed still, listening. But whoever it was, they didn’t make a sound after that. I quietly wished myself a happy birthday, rolled over and went back to sleep.

Today we headed into the city of Tábor, about an hour from our camp spot. It was a charming old town and surprisingly quiet.

One thing we’ve noticed in Czechia is that almost every city, big or small, has a well-preserved historic centre. There are a few reasons for this. The country wasn’t heavily bombed during World War II, and during the communist era (1948–1989), there was limited investment in modernising old town centres. On top of that, Czechia has a strong tradition of preserving its cultural heritage, with many towns protected under UNESCO and national heritage laws.

Mike had hunted out the best restaurant in Tabor, so we went there for lunch. It’s called the Green Tree Restaurant, just off the main square. (Note to anyone who cares: never eat  on  the main square in old towns, that’s usually where you’ll find the worst food. Just have a beer and move on.)

Anyway, we headed into the restaurant, which felt more like a cosy little pub, tucked away. We didn’t want to sit inside, so we found a nice garden bar out the back. Everyone here seems to be a local, and all seem to know each other. No English speakers here as they are probably all in the square.

They had a special lunchtime menu in a strange language (czech probably), so we just pointed to a couple of dishes and hoped for the best. If I didn’t like mine, I’d swap with Mike. It’s a rule we have. Plus it’s my birthday, I get to make the rules.

Anyway, our meals arrived and they didn’t look like anything fancy. Mike’s was chicken in a peppery sauce with chips on the side. Mine was bread dumplings on the side and roast pork smothered in a bright orange sauce. It looked hideous, radioactive even. But OMG, it was frikking delicious!

I couldn’t identify a single ingredient in that sauce, but whatever it was, it worked. The taste of the roast pork came through and the dumplings soaked it up like little sponges of delight. Mike’s was really good too, but I think mine was better.

After our huge lunch, we had planned to look around the old town some more, maybe learn some history from the area, but neither of us could be bothered. So we walked back to Bertie and moved on. The day was spent driving through the back roads and little villages.

Then came the hunt for the overnight sleeping place. As per usual, this is becoming increasingly difficult, I think because we are off the tourist trail. I threw my phone down in frustration, put my feet up on the dash and said. ‘I’m done with navigation. It’s my birthday, you decide where we go!’

So, Mike took over. He took us up a goat track barely wide enough for us, let alone cars coming the other way. The first spot was in a car park surrounded by houses. Charming, but nope.

The next spot was a camping ground beside a lake and extremely busy, and all the sites were all sloping and muddy. We sat there for a moment, pretending to consider it, but we both knew it wasn’t going to happen. So, I quietly resumed my role as navigator, and we never spoke of it again.

We eventually found a campground beside a river. It wasn’t flash, but it wasn’t too busy either. And it was cheap! But they only took cash. So we had to drive back up the road to withdraw some. I don’t know why, but they charge a horrendous fee at the ATMs for withdrawing cash here. So the campground didn’t turn out so cheap after all.

We parked in a spot overlooking the river. It was my birthday, and I felt like going out for dinner. As luck would have it, there was a camp restaurant and it was buzzing with people. It had a rustic charm, wooden benches under a simple shelter and the smell of smoke drifting from the wood fired oven. Pizzas were flying out of the kitchen, and they looked incredible, so we ordered one too. It was absolutely delicious.

As we sat there, I found myself thinking back over past milestone birthdays. Except for my 21st, none of them have been celebrated in New Zealand. My 30th was in Melbourne, 40th in Poole, 50th in London… and now this one, in the Czech Republic, just the two of us, surrounded by strangers. 

But this whole trip has been one long celebration. The places we’ve explored, the people we’ve met, it’s all been beyond amazing. So here we are, sitting on a wooden bench, eating wood-fired pizza and ice cream for dessert. No fancy restaurant, no massive party, just the sound of the river nearby… it’s perfect. Even if I had to choose it myself!

Well, today is the last day of my 50s. Here’s how the day went.

We finally left our luxurious camping ground and continued heading west. It was much cooler today as we drove the back roads and enjoyed the countryside.

We could’ve detoured to a castle, but we weren’t feeling it. There are only so many castles you can see. Still, one happened to pop up along our route. More of a grand chateau, really, something straight out of France, with neatly trimmed lawns, a central fountain, and colourful flower beds. They offered tours, but we gave it a miss.

We stopped at a LIDL to get supplies. Chippies and chocolate. I really am starting my diet tomorrow. Oh, that’s right, it’s my birthday. Let’s start it the day after. 

We found a nice place by a pond to have an afternoon nap. It was perfect. The shade of a tree, and a cool breeze blowing through the van. Just as I was settling down, I heard a loud plop, followed by another. I looked out the rear doors, and there were giant fish jumping out of the water and landing with a splash. I couldn’t sleep with that racket going on! So we read our books for a bit, then moved on.

We looked at another camping ground on the way, but it was heaving with people. I think we were really lucky with the one we stayed at.

Anyway, not much else happened on the last day of my 50s. We found a nice spot by a lake to camp. It’s quite picturesque, but there are a lot of locals here enjoying the area. We might be in for a noisy night, though I assume they will all go home when it gets dark. 

What am I gonna do for my birthday? No idea. Every day is a celebration when you’re on holiday.

It was a much cooler day today and it was absolute bliss. We decided to stay put as I needed to get a video finished, as it had been too hot to work over the last few days. And it was a nice campground, not too busy.

One thing we’ve noticed here is how people stare. You know how if we see something or someone different, we do a quick glance, then look away not wanting to get caught staring.

But here they don’t care. They’ll walk past and stare at our van, trying to see in. They stare at the number plate because it’s different. They’ll stare at us as we walk on by. I’ll wave and say hello but they’ll just ignore me and continue to stare. And all of Eastern Europe has been like this and I find it weird. Mike reckons it’s because of their roots, it is instilled in them to be suspicious. Maybe he’s right. Or maybe they’re just rude.

Anyway, the pig man was back, so we’ve had smoked ribs and chips 3 days in a row now, and I’m starting to feel sick. But I did get my video finished, now I just have to find somewhere to upload it.

It’s still hot, way too hot to think about driving anywhere, so we decided to stay put for the day. The van was already warming up by mid-morning, and we had laundry piling up, so it seemed like the perfect excuse to slow down and get a few things done.

There’s no laundry facility here, just a bucket and a tap, but thankfully, we’ve got unlimited water, which makes hand-washing and rinsing a lot easier. Mike rigged up a clothesline with some rope between the van, the fence and the trees, and in this heat, everything dried in no time. 

Our shaded spot from yesterday was in full sun by morning, and the van turned into a giant oven. By the time the shade finally reached us in the afternoon, it was too late, the heat had already soaked into everything.

So we gave up on being productive and we found a patch of shade under the trees, pulled out our books, and did absolutely nothing.

That evening the pig man was back with his smoked pork, so we ate there again. Then it pelted it down. For some reason the rain didn’t cool it off much.

After dinner it stopped briefly, so we made it back to the van, but about 30 minutes later came the thunderstorms. The wind howled through the trees, blowing them in every direction, pine cones crashing on our roof, flashes and cracks of thunder overhead. Someone’s gazebo got airborne, and a couple of people were desperately trying to pull it down. The entire storm was a little terrifying. I wanted to move out from under the trees, afraid the pinecones might be hurting Bertie. But he protected us well.

We settled down for a game of chess, trying not to wince every time a pine cone fell on Bertie. Eventually the storm blew over and we were able to relax.

I have a little usb fan I bought recently, so I pointed that on me and slept well.

It’s HOT!!! We headed off early-ish to beat the heat, but by lunchtime the sun was blazing through the front window and it was pushing 50 degrees inside the van. I started feeling heat-stressed and dizzy, so we pulled into a shopping complex to cool down. We grabbed a Coke and sat at a pizza restaurant to take a closer look at our route.

The direction we were heading didn’t have many campgrounds, and for some reason, I’d been navigating us north of Prague. Turns out, heading south is much quieter. I really wanted to find somewhere to stop for a few days, to do some washing and avoid driving in the heat.

I found a campground about an hour’s drive away. From the photos, it looked promising. Trees, a lake, a breeze if we’re lucky, so we aimed for it,  expecting it would be full with the school holidays in full swing.

But OMG, the drive there was brutal. No shade, just a relentless sun beating down on the road and through the windows. It was unbearable. By the time we arrived, we were drenched in sweat and desperate for relief.

Thankfully, they had space, and even better, it was in the shade! The spot was a little sloped, but we got the levellers out and made it work. The shade and the lake view made the tilt totally worth it. We’re just lacking any breeze.

And the price? A bargain for Europe, just $25 NZD. Most places are twice that!

By this point, we were hot, sticky, and terribly bothered, so we put on our togs and headed straight down to the lake. The water was bliss. Cool, refreshing, and exactly what we needed. Surprisingly, it wasn’t too crowded for a Sunday, which made it even better.

After the swim, we felt human again and made a beeline for the showers. It was then I realised we hadn’t had a shower since Estonia!  Sure, we wash every day and we’ve had a few swims along the way, but nothing compares to standing under a steady stream of water and finally washing your hair. But strangely enough, you get used to not showering and it makes you wonder how necessary it actually is.

I opted for a cold shower and it was delightful. Van life really makes you appreciate the simple things. Shade, unlimited water, and a place to call home.

There is an outdoor restaurant on site here where a man is smoking meat. The smell alone was enough to stop us in our tracks. The meals looked amazing, so we had to try some. Mike ordered smoked pork steak and I ordered the pork ribs. Both were melt-in-your-mouth good and up there with some of the best BBQ I’ve had in the States. The smoking reminded me of the flavour of Dad’s smoked Kahawai. It was cheap, only $7NZD, so we’ll probably go there again tonight if he’s there.

I like how we are stumbling on the places only locals go to. Apart from the Italians we saw the other day, we haven’t seen any other nationalities other than locals. It makes the experience feel more genuine, like we’re getting a glimpse into everyday life, not just ticking off tourist spots.

After dinner we watched the sun set over the lake, and it was beautiful. Still hot though. It was 28 degrees at 8pm, and was still going to be 25 at midnight. According to the weather, we would be having a low of 17 degrees at 5am. Then the heat would return all over again. I guess we just have to learn to relax into it. Let the heat slow us down and take it easy.