I arrive in the office at the ungodly hour of 7.30am. Mark is on the phone. He sees me and promptly hangs up. I think I just interupted his early morning phone sex. \u201cMorning Jo, how was the traffic this morning?\u201d chirps Mark in a cheery voice. I\u2019m still half asleep and grunt something in return. I head to the kitchen for some caffeine. As my tea is brewing I begin emptying the dishwasher. There is like a million dishes in there. I half empty it and give up in disgust. It\u2019s worse than cleaning up after Christmas day!<\/p>\n
I head back to my desk and notice Mark is on the phone again. He sees me and promptly hangs up. There is a bit of de ja vu going on here. I rustle around in my drawers looking for some fruit that I stashed there yesterday. I load of fruit flies swarm out and the stench of rotten fruit makes me gag. A bit more rustling reveals a nectarine stashed right at the back. It looks like it may have been there since last year! I put it aside to stash in Thomas\u2019s desk when he goes away for a whole month around Europe. That will teach him!<\/p>\n
\u201cWhere\u2019s that Thomas-M\u201d annouces Mark for the 100th time this morning. \u201cGone to get a chart\u201d I reply on auto-pilot. Thomas went out to buy a chart of the Milford Sounds once (he has a holiday house there) and ever since this has become a bit of an “in joke”. When someone asks where Thomas is – he has gone to buy a chart.<\/p>\n
At 7.40am Brian wanders in. \u201cMorning punkly\u201d says Mark. \u201cDon\u2019t call me a cunt you fucken cunt\u201d replies Brian. Mark then goes on to explain that he called him a punk \u2013 not a cunt. An argument erupts between the two of them that involves even more swearing. See what I have to put up with?<\/p>\n
Evan arrives at 7:45am. \u201cAre we doing the quiz today?\u201d \u201cNo, because you guys are crap at it\u201d says Mark. It\u2019s true we are crap at it. Evan sits down at his desk in a huff. Thomas arrives at 7:50am. \u201cWhere have you been Thomas-M \u2013 you\u2019re late!\u201d says Mark.<\/p>\n
Mark and Thomas start chatting about the cricket so I tune out and get on with my day checks which involves checking my email, facebook and the news. Antony (our boss) rocks in about lunchtime. It\u2019s not really lunchtime \u2013 it\u2019s just wishful thinking. It\u2019s only 9.30am, but it feels like it should be time to go home already.<\/p>\n
Mark takes a drink of his chocolate milk and gags, splutters and spits all over his monitor. That\u2019s fucking coffee flavoured milk. Christine brought me the wrong milk. She\u2019s trying to kill me. I can\u2019t get that coffee flavour out of my mouth yuck yuck etc etc. This went on the next hour or so.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s now 11am. Antony is in a meeting, Mark is washing his mouth out and Thomas has gone to buy a chart. I am all alone and have run out of things to write about.<\/p>\n
The End.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I arrive in the office at the ungodly hour of 7.30am. Mark is on the phone. He sees me and promptly hangs up. I think I just interupted his early morning phone sex. \u201cMorning Jo, how was the traffic this … Continue reading